5 Laboratory Techniques That’ll Get You Punched in the Face

When first learning laboratory techniques, it’s important to start with the ones that will help you keep your front teeth.  We’ve discussed some of the best ways to fit into a lab, but often the worst offenders don’t even realize what they’re doing wrong.  So this is directed at the select few who are making life difficult for the rest of us.  If it turns out you’re “accidentally” performing one of these, it might be better to knock it off before getting knocked out…

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5. Never wash your dishes

Cleaning up after yourself is a lesson that anyone who’s survived the rigors of kindergarten knows.  That should qualify most of us.  So, despite what your roommates may have convinced you of, the main function of a sink is not to hold dirty dishes – especially in a lab.  Unfortunately, performing laboratory techniques successfully requires more than hope and love.  Specifically, it requires those dirty gel plates you just put in the sink.  Stop wasting time and pick up a sponge…

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4. “Borrow” everyone’s buffers and never make your own

Most of us will bend over backward to help a labmate.  Experimental help here, some buffer there – usually the favor is returned and it all comes out in the wash, as they say.  However, while people like feeling helpful, they don’t like feeling taken advantage of.  So if you notice that most of your sentences start with “I’m just gonna borrow a little…” it may be time to try out “I made you a new stock of…”

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3. Jump onto an instrument when someone else reserved it

A well-planned experiment requires more choreography than Swan Lake.  Reagents are prepared and instruments are reserved well in advance.  This is called “planning.”  Just as laboratory techniques can’t run on hope alone, experiments almost always require an element of timing.  Penalizing others for your inability to plan is not the answer.

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2. Use up the last of a reagent without reordering

In some labs, ordering supplies is the job of one person and can be as easy as telling that person “We need more ____.” In other labs, it may feel more like filling out a loan application followed by a stern grilling from the Congressional Budget Office.  In either case, you have a responsibility to replace reagents that are low or empty.  “Low” can be a grey area, but you know 70mg in a 5kg container of Tris is low.  We realize ordering takes effort and adds another line on your to-do list, but please – pull your weight.  Place the order.

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1. Steal a labmate’s project

The granddaddy of all sinful laboratory techniques.  Nothing can devastate lab moral than someone who’s cherry-picking the projects that are actually moving forward.  This is unconscionable and inexcusable. Developing into a great scientist requires the ability to think for yourself and those thoughts should not be “Hey, I should start working on Katie’s project because that’s a gold mine.” If you’re struggling with your project, maybe now’s a good time to refocus and set some new goals for yourself.  Be aware of project boundaries and stay within them.

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Like the Great Barrier Reef, the lab environment is a precious ecosystem.  If everyone follows the rules and gets along, the lab will be there years from now for others to enjoy.  But all it takes are a few offenders to ruin the fun for everyone…

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Any other offensive laboratory techniques you’d caution against?

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