The entire Google empire is built on a cold, hard algorithm- not on subjective guesses or opinions.  When it decides to pull up a list of websites that it thinks will fulfill a user’s query, it’s for a reason.  So looking into what search terms Google recommends your site for can be a bit like asking “do these pants make my butt look big?”  You’re hoping for the best, but in the end, the data might reveal an answer you don’t want to hear.

We recently took a look at some of the search terms that users entered to get to BenchFly.  Below are 23 of our favorite, real terms that we just had to pass along.  If for no other reason than to directly answer some of the questions…

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Search Terms:

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maybe I get you punch in the face

Maybe…not??

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bnmchfy

You mghit wnat to cehck yuor splelnig

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am I smart enough to pass the qualifying exams?

If you have to ask google…

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am I a bad postdoc?

No…unless that search was during work hours, in which case- Yes.  Now get back to the bench!

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“I did a postdoc”

Your bravery is commendable.  That must have been one crazy beer hour…

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big and long organasm

Not sure which way this one’s going, but you obviously weren’t the one with the postdoc from the beer hour…

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ask your friend their dealer

There’s only one way I can make it through group meeting this week, and that way is illegal…

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how to maintain your sanity

See previous search term…

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by five year I want to be expert

Does an expert in crying count? Because you’ll be an expert in that by your third year.

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can I eat only beans and rice?

After two years of grad school, your body will evolve to run on beans, rice and stress.

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choosing a postdoc “8 years”

Either you’re the slowest or worst decision maker ever- either way, it’s not good.

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how to make pizza by contain 3 biomolecule

Try a slice of the thin crust pepperoni, dopamine and ATP- it’s delicious.

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is science writing a stabl career?

You’re not off to a good start…

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my pi is bad

5,381,968,216 hits returned by google.

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is Chuck Norris a scientist?

Show some respect – it’s Dr. Norris to you.

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phd students are exploited by their pi’s

Welcome to grad school.

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phd I passed my qualifying exams now what?

CONGRATULATIONS! Now back to the bench.

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think postdocs stealing

I’d start with a few questions for the guy with a tabletop centrifuge in his living room.

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postdoc 2010 suck

Is the year necessary?

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“you are tired angry, bitter, depressed,”

I’ll take “How do you know if you’re a postdoc” for $200, Alex.

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why I like kenny rogers

The Gambler?  The white beard?  The face pulled tighter than a snare drum?

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my labmate scooped me

NOT cool.

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so that’s what it’s like to get punched in the face

Well, now you know how your labmate felt when you scooped them…

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Have anything to add to any of the search queries?

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